The Be-bop tango (of the old jazzman's church)
(performance from Roxy and elsewhere)
 
Some of you may know that the tango, Which is not a very popular dance anymore,
Was at one time reputed to be a dance of unbridled passion. Back in the old days
when it wasn't so easy to get your rocks off, When it was hard to make contact
with a member of the opposite camp And you had to resort to things like dancing
close together And going hey...
 
Those were the days. Well those days are probably gone forever, I don't know,
Unless Nixon is going to bring them back a little bit later. But we have this
very special highly evolved permutated tango. It's actually a perverted tango.
By the time... Yes, it's so perverted! This is the Be-Bop Tango, A special
entertainment event that includes choreography a little bit later, so watch out
folks...
 
You can turn on the big lights, we may need 'em. You know, the ones in the
audience. Heh heh. Okay, 're you ready? Not too fast now 'cause I wanna get the
right notes on the tape 'N' this, this has to be the one. This has to be the one
with all the right notes on it. Okay, 're you ready? This is a hard one to play.
One two three four...
 
The cowbell as a symbol of unbridled passion, ladies and gentlemen.
Now, as you might have noticed, Bruce Fowler has just completed some sort of
trombone solo, Based on the-ah, idea of an evolved tango-event. Bruce has also
prepared for you a demonstration of a dance That he hopes will sweep the ocean
right after the Mud Shark did. Bruce is now warming up the important muscles of
the body, In preparation...in preparation for the real live Be-Bop Tango Which
we're gonna demonstrate. Napoleon will assist him. Napoleon just put your horn
down, Just relax, Put your head back, Here comes the drill. Okay, heh heh heh,
you know what I'm talkin' about? Okay.
 
This is sort of like jazz in it's own peculiar way. Jazz is not dead, it just
smells funny! Okay, let's go! Yeah man, jazz man, you know what I mean? This is
Be-Bop, Even though you think it doesn't sound like that. Be-Bop! Now, as you
might have noticed, Some of you with a musical education Can tell that the notes
that George just sang when he went: "This is Be-Bop, even though you think it
doesn't sound like that", Is actually a sort of a twisted form of the theme of
the tango itself Which will get even more depraved as the number goes on. George
will now attempt to dismember that melody, Play it and sing it at the same time
while... Tu-dup. Hey, that's the way! While we sort of dance to it. Okay, try it
George. Tu-dup, tu-dee... Oh yeah! As I was saying. Now, what we'd like to do at
this point Is get some volunteers from the audience to... I know you will, oh
God you will... We need some...heh heh heh... Now, as a matter of fact you did,
didn't you... No, we wanna have some people who've never tried it before, Who've
never even thought of trying it before. A boy, a girl, preferably who like each
other, Who would like to come up here and attempt to dance to what George sings.
Do we have anybody who is...you're one.
Okay, what's your name?
 
Carl.
 
Your name is Carl? Please Carl step on to the stage. Pleased to meet you Carl.
Alright. Okay? Let's see-ah, is there anybody in the, in the back?
Where...oh-oh, hey! What's your name?
Rick.
 
Rick, and?
 
Jane.
 
Rick and Jane and Carl! Alright, here's how it works: There's a beat going on
like this; That's a pedestrian beat. You don't dance to that beat, You dance to
what George sings, okay? The little ones, okay? The little quick ones, okay?
Ready? George, make them dance!
 
Dup. No no Rick, you're too reserved. Ready? Give it to 'em George! Tu-dup,
tu-dup pu-dee-da... No no, come on now, loosen up. Listen, encourage them! When
it... Ah! Okay! Alright, one more time: dance!
 
Tu-dup, du-dee-da... Let's study this phenomenon. Tu-duppy-dup-pu-dee-da... Now
look, Rick and Jane and Carl, You're, you're wonderful but you're just too
reserved. I still can... I know you will, maybe in a minute. Okay, I'll t-tell
you what: Go back to your seats and we'll bring up the next batch. Okay? Carl,
 
Rick and Jane! Alright, you wanna try...?
 
Anything you say Frank!
 
Oh my God! Alright, you're name is Lana, right? Lana dance!
Du-dup-dee-dup... Now that's more like it. Du-dup-dee-dup... Lana, you're so
good we have to bring up some other people to assist you. Brenda, imported from
Edward's Air Force Base, where she... Ladies and gentlemen, Brenda... Brenda is
a professional harlot And she just got finished stripping for a bunch of guys at
Edward's Air Force Base, And she made it down here in time for the show. Two
hours of taking it off for the boys in the car, really good. Okay. Heh. Brenda,
Brenda has a lovely assistant named Carl, Or Robert James Davis if you prefer.
Herb Cohen, ladies and gentlemen! Okay, dance!
 
Du-du-dip... You're still too adagio, I keep telling you! Du-dup-du-dee-da...
Turn on the bubble machine! Dup-dee-da, dup-dee-da... God, is that a cheap
bubble-machine! Bow, du-du-du-du-du-da... Ladies and gentlemen: Don's ex-wife!
Ladies and gentlemen, You're probably sitting in your chairs, Saying to
yourselves: I could do that. And of course you can! And now is your big chance!
All you have to do, The first step is easy, All you gotta do is stand up. Go
ahead, just stand up. There you go, you are standing up. Yes, some of you are
not standing up But you won't have as much fun as the ones who are standing up.
Okay, turn on the big lights so everybody can see what's going on. Yes, very
many of you are standing up. Okay, link your mind with the mind of George Duke!
And when...
 
Du-dup... That's it! When he plays those funny fast little notes, Twitch around
and have a good time with the Be-Bop Tango, Let's try it! Anything you wanna do
is alright. You gotta do anything you wanna do, it's alright. Yes you got to
know you came to the right place, tonight. (Give me some of that wine now). As
you might have guessed, ladies and gentlemen, This is the end of our concert. We
like to thank you ver... Wanna thank you very much for coming. Hope you had a
good time. Bruce Fowler on trombone, Napoleon Murphy Brock on tenor sax and lead
vocals, Ruth Underwood on percussion, Ralph Humphrey on drums, Chester Thompson
on drums, Tom Fowler on bass And George Duke on the keyboards. Thank you very
much. Alright, alright...