Smell my beard
(performance from You can't do that on stage anymore, vol. 4)
Now the sound that you hear in the background right now, is the sound
caused by George Duke, agitating two metal insignias. These are badges
that he removed from a coupla boogers that Marty tried to palm off on him
in the last town that we was in. Actually theyre booger pasties and he's
hitting the booger pasty with a little stick to get a very interesting
musical effect, you know he does this every night. And sometimes he becomes
so overwrought, so excited by the fact that he's actually touching a piece
of metal that might have at one time come in contact with the actual flesh
of a booger bear. And so sometimes he misses it.
Oh, Lord have mercy . . .
And he hits his thumb and he hurts hisself. Yes it hurts very much,
but he likes pain. We can tell that he likes pain because he's in this
But, but, its very close to other things . . .
Yes but later that night after George was finished fondling the booger
pasty, a thought came to his mind, how, how can I possibly get any nook
tonight in (pasege ?) if I don't put this thing down and play the piano
and get funky for these people. And so George, as you say in your language,
took it away . . .
But before we get funky, the continuing stories of . . .
Moon Trek . . .
No, this aint moontrick this time, we go to Moon Trek next show. This
is the continuing stories of the boogers of Marty Perellis. Do you all
know who he is? There he is. Hes got a white shirt on an a . . .
Your two-hunderd and fifty closest relatives, the Mothers of Invention
. . .
Yes, anyway, he was in my room. I invited some people over. Young ladies.
They looked interesting. Their names shall go unmentioned.
The reason they looked interesting is because they apparently were
intelligent enough to dress themselves.
Anyway what was happening was . . . nothing. Ha ha, wasnt nothing happening.
So I said Lets get this party on the road. I said lemme call the roadmanager.
I said whats your name. Mighty Perellis come down here and meet Miss Cool,
Miss Dew & Miss eh, Miss Stool. So we, so Marty got in there and he
was there about five minutes and all of a sudden I began to hear other
things. I said what you doing over there? I said I never heard nobody do
that king of thing before. I said come out of that corner, whats wrong
with you, so he comissed it. We were all asking: Men what youre doing over
Really whipping it, just whipping it into a frenzy.
All of a sudden he was gone. I look around and Marty had took the Booger
out of his room. I said: Where you going? He went down to his room which
was room 33. An hour later I went to his room. I knocked on his door. I
said: What you doin? He said . . . I said: Say that again. I said: Ho ho.
It was late. We had an eight o clock wake up. You all know what that is.
Eight o clock wake up, eight o clock wake up, eight o clock wake up, eight
o clock wake up, eight o clock wake up, eight o clock wake up ahrrrrrr.
So Marty came out in the hall and looked in the pool and he said, can I
say this? He said: Smell my beard. I said: You must be crazy.
I had to smell it . . .
Show, how ywas walking Marty. And he said: Smell my beard. I said:
I aint gonna smell nothing. Napoleon said: Ill . . .
Check it out, I told you, check it out, make sure . . .
Anyway if you wanna hear . . .
You know what it smell like . . .
Come to the next show for the continuing stories of
Marty's trick. But for now we go to . . .