Any kind of pain
(performance from Broadway the hard way)
 
You are the girl
Somebody invented
In a grim little office
On Madison Ave
 
They were specific
They made you terrific:
Red lips
Blue eyes
Blonde hair
Un-wise
You're All-American
And, darling, they said so
 
YOU'D TAKE ANY KIND OF PAIN FROM ME,
WOULDN'T YOU, BABY?
YOU'D TAKE ANY KIND OF PAIN FROM ME,
WOULDN'T YOU, BABY?
SINCE YOU HAVEN'T GOT A BRAIN,
LET ME JUST EXPLAIN:
ANY KIND OF PAIN
IS NEVER A MAYBE
 
Her head's full of bubbles;
Her nose is petite!
She looks like she never
Gets nothing to eat!
She dines with actors
And Wall Street characters:
Dull talk;
Nice clothes -
See her?
She blows -
(She's so important
'Cause she gets to do talk shows -)
 
AND SHE'D TAKE ANY KIND OF PAIN FROM ME,
WOULDN'T SHE, BOBBY?
SHE'S TAKE ANY KIND OF PAIN FROM ME,
WOULDN'T SHE, BOBBY?
SINCE SHE HASN'T GOT A NAME
LET ME JUST EXPLAIN
ANY KIND OF PAIN
IS PROB'LY HER HOBBY
 
She has moved up now;
She's come a long way -
They give her bunches
Of words she can say!
When she's in a bold mood,
"Confinement Loaf" sounds good-
That's right,
She's wrong!
Let's end
Her song
(It seems she's everywhere
We just can't escape her -
Is this a miracle of pure evolution?
And all the yuppie boys,
They dream they will rape her -
She brings the 80's
To a thrilling conclusion!)
 
YES, SHE'S EVERY BIT AS TAME AS ME,
ISN'T SHE TENDER?
YES, SHE'S EVERY BIT AS LAME AS ME,
LET US REMEMBER,
SHE GETS ONLY HALF THE BLAME
ONLY HALF THE BLAME
ONLY HALF THE BLAME
UNLESS WE EXTEND HER -