PREPARED STATEMENT OF FRANK
ZAPPA TO THE COMMITTEE
These are my personal observations and opinions. They are addressed
to the PMRC as well as this committee. I speak on behalf of no group
or professional organization.
The PMRC proposal is an ill-conceived piece of nonsense which fails
to deliver any real benefits to children, infringes the civil liberties
of people who are not children, and promises to keep the courts busy
for years, dealing with the interpretational and enforcemental problems
inherent in the proposal's design.
It is my understanding that, in law, First Amendment Issues are decided
with a preference for the least restrictive alternative. In this context,
the PMRC's demands are the equivalent of treating dandruff by decapitation.
No one has forced Mrs. Baker or Mrs. Gore to bring Prince or Sheena
Easton into their homes. Thanks to the Constitution, they are free to buy
other forms of music for their children. Apparently, they insist on purchasing
the works of contemporary recording artists in order to support a
personal illusion of aerobic sophistication.
Ladies, please be advised: The $8.98 purchase price does not entitle
you to a kiss on the foot from the composer or performer in exchange for
a spin on the family Victrola. Taken as a whole, the complete list of PMRC
demands reads like an instruction manual for some sinister kind of "toilet
training program" to house-break all composers and performers because
of the lyrics of a few. Ladies, how dare you?
The ladies' shame must be shared by the bosses at the major labels
who, through the RIAA, chose to bargain
away the rights of composers, performers, and retailers in order to pass
H.R. 2911, The Blank Tape Tax: A private tax levied by an industry on consumers
for the benefit of a select group within that industry. Is this a "consumer
issue"? You bet it is. PMRC spokesperson, Kandy Stroud, announced
to millions of fascinated viewers on last Friday's ABC Nightline
debate that Senator Gore, a man she described as "A friend of the
music industry," is co-sponsor of something she referred to as "anti-piracy
legislation". Is this the same tax bill with a nicer name?
The major record labels need to have H.R. 2911 whiz through a few committees
before anybody smells a rat. One of them is chaired by Senator Thurmond.
Is it a coincidence that Mrs. Thurmond is affiliated with the PMRC? I cannot
say she's a member, because the PMRC has no members. Their secretary told
me on the phone last Friday that the PMRC has no members . . . only founders.
I asked how many other D.C. wives are nonmembers of an organization that
raises money by mail, has a tax-exempt status, and seems intent on running
the Constitution of the United States through the family paper-shredder.
I asked her if it was a cult. Finally, she said she couldn't give me an
answer and that she had to call their lawyer.
While the wife of the Secretary of the Treasury recites "Gonna
drive my love inside you . . .", and Senator Gore's wife talks about
"Bondage!" and "oral sex at gunpoint," on the CBS Evening
News, people in high places work on a tax bill that is so ridiculous, the
only way to sneak it through is to keep the public's mind on something
else: 'Porn rock'.
The PMRC practices a curious double standard with these fervent
recitations. Thanks to them, helpless young children all over America get
to hear about oral sex at gunpoint on network TV several nights a week.
Is there a secret FCC dispensation here? What sort of end justifies THESE
means? PTA parents should keep an eye on these ladies if that's their idea
of 'good taste'.
Is the basic issue morality? Is it mental health? Is it an issue at
all? The PMRC has created a lot of confusion with improper comparisons
between song lyrics, videos, record packaging, radio broadcasting, and
live performances. These are all different mediums, and the people who
work in them have the right to conduct their business without trade-restraining
legislation, whipped up like an instant pudding by The Wives of Big Brother.
Is it proper that the husband of a PMRC nonmember/founder/person sits
on any committee considering business pertaining to the Blank Tape
Tax or his wife's lobbying organization? Can any committee thus constituted
'find facts' in a fair and unbiased manner? This committee has three. A
minor conflict of interest?
The PMRC promotes their program as a harmless type of consumer information
service providing 'guidelines' which will assist baffled parents in the
determination of the 'suitability' of records listened to by 'very
young children'. The methods they propose have several unfortunately [sic]
side effects, not the least of which is the reduction of all American Music,
recorded and live, to the intellectual level of a Saturday morning
Teen-agers with $8.98 in their pocket might go into a record store
alone, but 'very young children' do not. Usually there is a parent in attendance.
The $8.98 is in the parents pocket. The parent can always suggest that
the $8.98 be spent on a book.
If the parent is afraid to let the child read a book, perhaps the $8.98
can be spent on recordings of instrumental music. Why not bring jazz or
classical music into your home instead of Blackie Lawless or Madonna? Great
music with no words at all is available to anyone with sense enough to
look beyond this week's platinum-selling fashion plate.
Children in the 'vulnerable' age bracket have a natural love for music.
If, as a parent, you believe they should be exposed to something more uplifting
than sugar walls, support Music Appreciation programs in schools.
Why haven't you considered your child's need for consumer information?
Music Appreciation costs very little compared to sports expenditures. Your
children have a right to know that something besides pop music exists.
lt is unfortunate that the PMRC would rather dispense governmentally
sanitized Heavy Metal Music, than something more 'uplifting'. Is this an
indication of PMRC's personal taste, or just another manifestation of the
low priority this administration has placed on education for The Arts in
America? The answer, of course, is neither. You cannot distract people
from thinking about an unfair tax by talking about Music Appreciation.
For that you need sex . . . and lots of it.
Because of the subjective nature of the PMRC ratings, it is impossible
to guarantee that some sort of 'despised concept' won't sneak through,
tucked away in new slang or the overstressed pronounciation of an otherwise
innocent word. If the goal here is total verbal/moral safety, there is
only one way to achieve it; watch no TV, read no books, see no movies,
listen to only instrumental music, or buy no music at all.
The establishment of a rating system, voluntary or otherwise, opens
the door to an endless parade of Moral Quality Control Programs based
on "Things Certain Christians Don't Like". What if the next bunch
of Washington Wives demands a large yellow "J" on all material
written or performed by Jews, in order to save helpless children from exposure
to 'concealed Zionist doctrine'?
Record ratings are frequently compared to film ratings. Apart from
the quantitative difference, there is another that is more important: People
who act in films are hired to 'pretend'. No matter how the film is rated,
it won't hurt them personally. Since many musicians write and perform their
own material and stand by it as their art (whether you like it or not),
an imposed rating will stigmatize them as individuals. How long before
composers and performers are told to wear a festive little PMRC arm band
with their Scarlet Letter on it?
The PMRC rating system restrains trade in one specific musical
field: Rock. No ratings have been requested for Comedy records or
Country Music. Is there anyone in the PMRC who can differentiate infallibly
between Rock and Country Music? Artists in both fields cross stylistic
lines. Some artists include comedy material. If an album is part Rock,
part Country, part Comedy, what sort of label would it get? Shouldn't the
ladies be warning everyone that inside those Country albums with
the American Flags, the big trucks, and the atomic pompadours there
lurks a fascinating variety of songs about sex, violence, alcohol,
and the devil, recorded in a way that lets you hear every word, sung for
you by people who have been to prison and are proud of it.
If enacted, the PMRC program would have the effect of protectionist
legislation for the Country Music Industry, providing more security for
cowboys than it does for children. One major retail outlet has already
informed the Capitol Records sales staff that it would not purchase or
display an album with any kind of sticker on it.
Another chain with outlets in shopping malls has been told by the landlord
that if it racked "hard-rated albums" they would lose their lease.
That opens up an awful lot of shelf space for somebody. Could it be that
a certain Senatorial husband and wife team from Tennessee sees this as
an 'affirmative action program' to benefit the suffering multitudes in
Is the PMRC attempting to save future generations from SEX ITSELF?
The type, the amount, and the timing of sexual information given to a child
should be determined by the parents, not by people who are involved in
a tax scheme cover-up.
The PMRC has concocted a Mythical Beast, and compounds the chicanery
by demanding 'consumer guidelines' to keep it from inviting your children
inside its sugar walls. Is the next step the adoption of a "PMRC National
Legal Age For Comprehension of Vaginal Arousal". Many people in this
room would gladly support such legislation, but, before they start drafting
their bill, I urge them to consider these facts:
(1) There is no conclusive scientific evidence to support the claim
that exposure to any form of music will cause the listener to commit a
crime or damn his soul to hell.
(2) Masturbation is not illegal. If it is not illegal to do it, why
should it be illegal to sing about it?
(3) No medical evidence of hairy palms, warts, or blindness has been
linked to masturbation or vaginal arousal, nor has it been proven that
hearing references to either topic automatically turns the listener into
a social liability.
(4) Enforcement of anti-masturbatory legislation could prove costly
and time consuming.
(5) There is not enough prison space to hold all the children who do
The PMRC's proposal is most offensive in its "moral
tone". It seems to enforce a set of implied religious values on its
victims. Iran has a religious government. Good for them. I like having
the capitol of the United States in Washington, DC, in spite of recent
efforts to move it to Lynchburg, VA.
Fundamentalism is not a state religion. The PMRC's request for labels
regarding sexually explicit lyrics, violence, drugs, alcohol, and especially
occult content reads like a catalog of phenomena abhorrent to practitioners
of that faith. How a person worships is a private matter, and should not
be inflicted upon or exploited by others. Understanding the Fundamentalist
leanings of this organization, I think it is fair to wonder if their rating
system will eventually be extended to inform parents as to whether a musical
group has homosexuals in it. Will the PMRC permit musical groups to exist,
but only if gay members don't sing, and are not depicted on the album
The PMRC has demanded that record companies "re-evaluate"
the contracts of those groups who do things on stage that THEY find offensive.
I remind the PMRC that groups are comprised of individuals. If one guy
wiggles too much, does the whole band get an "X"? If the group
gets dropped from the label as a result of this 're-evaluation' process,
do the other guys in the group who weren't wiggling get to sue the
guy who wiggled because he ruined their careers? Do the founders
of the tax-exempt organization with no members plan to indemnify record
companies for any losses incurred from unfavorably decided breach of contract
suits, or is there a PMRC secret agent in the Justice Department?
Should individual musicians be rated? If so, who is qualified to determine
if the guitar player is an "X", the vocalist is a "D/A"
or the drummer is a "V". If the bass player (or his Senator)
belongs to a religious group that dances around with poisonous snakes,
does he get an "O"? What if he has an earring in one ear,
wears an Italian Horn around his neck, sings about his astrological sign,
practices yoga, reads the Quaballah, or owns a rosary? Will his "occult
content" rating go into an old CoIntelPro computer, emerging later
as a "fact", to determine if he qualifies for a home-owner loan?
Will they tell you this is necessary to protect the folks next door from
the possibility of 'devil-worship' lyrics creeping through the wall?
What hazards await the unfortunate retailer who accidently [sic]
sells an "O" rated record to somebody's little Johnny? Nobody
in Washington seemed to care when Christian Terrorists bombed abortion
clinics in the name of Jesus. Will you care when the "Friends of the
wives of big brother" blow up the shopping mall?
The PMRC wants ratings to start as of the date of their enactment.
That leaves the current crop of 'objectionable material' untouched. What
will be the status of recordings from that Golden Era to censorship? Do
they become collector's items . . . or will another "fair and unbiased
committee" order them destroyed in a public ceremony?
Bad facts make bad law, and people who write bad laws are, in my opinion,
more dangerous than songwriters who celebrate sexuality. Freedom
of Speech, Freedom of Religious Tthought [sic], and the Right to Due Process
for composers, performers and retailers are imperiled if the PMRC
and the major labels consummate this nasty bargain. Are we expected
to give up Article One so the big guys can collect an extra dollar on every
blank tape and 10 to 25% on tape recorders? What's going on here? Do WE
get to vote on this tax? There's an awful lot of smoke pouring out of the
legislative machinery used by the PMRC to inflate this issue. Try not to
inhale it. Those responsible for the vandalism should pay for the damage
by voluntarily rating themselves. If they refuse, perhaps the voters could
assist in awarding the Congressional "X", the Congressional "D/A",
the Congressional "V", and the Congressional "O". Just
like the ladies say: these ratings are necessary to protect our
children. I hope it's not too late to put them where they really belong.
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